Hello, I am writing this blog post to talk about some tips that I would have told my past self and also to give insight into my experience of buying a home as a single woman at aged 30 in the UK. 1) Small steps will get you there The deposit saving was the longest phase of the buying process. I had hoped that I would meet someone during my twenties as it feels as though from a young age we are taught that you meet a guy, buy a house then have a family. However at the end of the day we are responsible for our lives and we can create the lives that we want if we put in enough work towards it. If you are reading this article, please do not feel alone. There are a growing number of women taking matters into their own hands and buying a property on their own. It may take a bit longer but all of the decisions are yours, you can decorate how you want and you can crea...
From a young age I have struggled with anxiety/ obsessive compulsive disorder but during the pandemic my mental health issues were amplified. Each day felt like a gargantuan effort as my mind would be in a constant state of panic mode. During that time I researched how I could help myself and one of the main things that came up was meditation. I always thought of meditation as woo woo or just not for me, however I decided to stick with it for at least three months. After three months of consistently meditating, it is the best thing that I have ever done and it has changed my life. Please read below for five ways that it has helped.
1) Reconnect with your body
The first session was challenging as I would often distract myself by creating a very busy life or with other people as I did not want to sit alone with my thoughts. Each morning I would search for a free 10 minute guided meditation and would listen to it when I woke up. By the end of the ten minutes I gradually began to notice that I was less tense and whenever I had meandering thoughts I would come back to focus on my breath. There are also meditations where they guide you through focusing on different parts of your body and over time you become more in tune with how you are feeling and your ability to create a calm environment for your mind.
2) Resilience
Through meditating consistently I noticed that all the worst case scenarios and what if's did not happen and that by the end of the ten minutes I was still alive. As time went on I noticed that a thought is just a thought and my mind stopped being a state of panic because my brain started to be more aware that these thoughts were not serving me/ were not actually happening. My brain was scanning environments to keep my loved ones safe but then it got too good at that and it went a bit haywire. I am not saying that it is a cure all but I have noticed that whenever I feel anxious I am able to connect to my breath and realise that this is a thought and that it is not necessarily true. By creating a calm environment to take deep breaths I found that my mind latched onto this and overtime the thoughts lost their power and I felt more resilient and less emotionally triggered when things would come up day to day.
3) Lower General anxiety levels
As my mind and body started to reconnect I also noticed that there was space between thoughts. I have always been someone that had something on their mind constantly but through meditating I started to experience gaps between thoughts where I could connect to my own awareness. My experience was that I was reconnecting with the lens through which I view the world and I felt more at peace and not in a constant state of fight, flight or in my case freeze.
4) Building a Habit
I felt as though starting meditation was a Hail Mary for me because I had tried a lot of other techniques and wanted a form of relief and felt that I had nothing to lose. I worked out that doing it in the morning was the best time for me before I started the day but there is not set time frame and if I missed it I would do it in the evening. It has been a constant in my life since 2019 and by having phones that connect to the internet and files that you can download- you can meditate anywhere. I am proud of myself for being consistent and I have built internal trust that I can keep promises to myself.
5) Better relationships
As my anxiety levels started to ease I was able to become more present and to listen to my friend and family. By paying attention and taking in what they were saying I was able to become someone that could offer support and could be there for other people. All my energy was spent on distraction and fighting off thoughts but after three months I felt a shift in my mind and I was able to put that energy into my relationships and thinking about ways that I can be there for other people.
As well as being in tune with your body you also get an intuition when some thing is right for you. Meditation is a tool that has worked for me and I can only speak from my own experience. I now view my thoughts like waves on a beach and I have faith that it will pass and that I can always come home to myself. I hope that you found this article useful and thanks for your time. I wish you peace.
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